Spot in my Heart

I don't think I would be speaking about this in a million years But ai'm writing this because I believe being honest to yourself is liberating. 

This day, my first boyfriend, first love, first real relationship, first kiss, first heartbreak left my home. He's is not a current partner or has he been in my life in the last 2 decades and more. I actually have a husband and children of my own and so does he. He is married with 2 daughters. We remained friends since we broke up back in 1998. I and my family had beed friends with him and his family way back in the 90s. So the day before yesterday, he and his family, his sister who I have been bestfriends with for the longest time, his brother and their families came to our house and stayed for 2 nights before they head out for their California vacation. We all hung out, laughed, had an amazing time hanging out together. It felt good knowing that even if we didn't see each other as often nor talked as much, when we see each other it's like we never missed anything in our lives. 

My ex bf who we'll just call Adam and I, 8months into the relationship, went into a long distance relationship. Imagine a long distance relationship pre smart phones and pre accessible internet, you would already have guessed it, it didn't work at all. He was my first love. Our relationship then was simple, cute, puppylove, real and immature. Nevertheless, our separation by distance already gave me the conclusion that we will not end up together. Over the years though we remained in contact and friends. I had relationships after we broke off but honestly kind of still hoped that maybe there would still be a chance for us. Until a year before I got married with a long term boyfriend, who is now my husband (let's call him Alex) who I am very blessed to be married with. 

About a year or so before I got married, Adam and I hung out one more time when he went home to the Philippines for a visit. We went somewhere private, and we kissed. We kissed and that's it. Just a plain kiss. I didn't feel anything like I did when we were together. I didn't feel anything like with Alex. It was a plain, emotionless kiss. I didn't feel any passion. That's when I realized he and I are not meant to be more than friends.

When I moved to Canada, I was already married, and he has a GF. I know and certain, I saw, if it's not jealousy, there's confusion in his eyes the first time he saw me with my husband. I felt that pain. He will probably never admit it. But I saw it in his eyes. I felt it. At that time, a question came to my mind, what if I came to Canada single and not married. Will we end up getting back to the relationship? We remained friends. 

He got married, I attended the wedding. I was happy for him. 

Going back to present, where we spent time together with our own families. We were all laughing and having a great time. I spent time with his wife and kids. I am happy for him having a great family. We both have  great life with pur own families. 

This event have me realize. I will always love him, not like a desire to be with him, nor it is a love greater than the love for my husband. But that he will always have a spot in my heart, he will always be someone special and dear to me. A special friend whom I had special memories with. And I am glad to have met him. And that we have our life and family. That despite of us not ending up with each other, we remained friends and our families are friends. 

It's not common to remain friends with your ex but I am definitely glad that we are one of the few. I hope that this friendship remains. And may this inspire others who have had their hearts broken. And be healed by time and friendship. 

Panaginip

             I had a really weird dream last night. So weird that I can still remember the details and the feeling while on that dream state.
             My status is happily and contently  married to an amazing guy and i love him to pieces. We have a 2 year old adorable and smart son. My two boys are my life. My husband and I got married after 6 years of dating. Before we've met, modesty aside, I had suitors after suitors after suitors. Sabi nila crush ng bayan ako. Almost all guys that was introduced to me, specially sa church, would develop interest on me. Maybe I wasn't that beautiful but I can say I have a distinct personality. My friends would say a personality that draws people into me. So during this time of me being "in - demand" I met this guy he's an evangelical worker in our church and he became one of my suitors. I had a few admirers na nasa ministry, I even had a relationship with one, but it only lasted a year. I guess I can't be a minister's wife. I am not righteous enough. *wink So anyway this particular ministerial guy (lers call him Mark P.) liked me and I kind of like him too, but my husband now is already my BF then at the time na nakikipagkulitan ako sa kanya. So maybe you would say, so what's the connection of all the pasakalye sa first sentence ko? Well, I dreamt of this guy last night and it was sooo weird dahil on this dream I am on a relationship with my husband (which on that dream, appears to be rocky) and we have a son but we weren't married. Mark P. and I started dating and tinanong nya ko if virgin pa ko?! How weird is that a guy asking about virginity up front! A bit embarrased I told him not anymore. He said its okay, it doesnt change hia feelings for me. But from now on I'll have to take a pic of what I plan to wear everytime and consult him if if he'll approve of it. I was like.. okay.. no prob. I didn't tell him about my son though. I didnt have the guts. So we continued on dating until he learned about my son but still he accepted me.... and then I woke up from that dream. Feeling inlove and weirded out. What and why the heck my dream was like that? Until now I feel strange. I feel like something has to be up.. Pero gnun talaga ang panaginip db.. uncertain... weird... what could be your worst dream?

Women's Health

I have come up to add some information about this particular topic because some friends and acquaintances who aren't nurses have been asking me about some private care. So I though it might be helpful to share some information that I have taught them through this
.
To all girls out there you might find this very helpful if you have this symptoms:
~ sever vaginal itching
~ no foul smelling discharge
~ no warts
~ have monogamous relationship
~ no signs of STD
~ no signs of Yeast infection
~ Not pregnant
~ OB GYN are also having a hard time diagnosing your symptoms

It could be Cytolytic Vaginosis. This is one of the newly arising problems that most women are actually having, It doesn't matter if your 15 cause it can actually affect girls as young as 6 years old. Some reports are actually younger. Other times its misdiagnosed as yeast.
Cytolytic vaginosis is caused when there are too many lactobacilli present in the vagina. (The usual problem is not enough!) The lactobacilli produce lactic acid and cv is the result of too many lactobacilli producing too much lactic acid. The vagina, which normally has a pH between 3.8 and 4.2, becomes overly acid.
This is the reason why when you try using vinegar to wash your privates, the itching gets worst, so as when you try to gulp in more yogurts.
So to have a resolution to this problem you may want to try this procedure:

Fill your sitz bath or container with about two inches of water (any temperature) and mix in 2-4 tablespoons of baking soda. Sit in the sitz bath or tub for 15 minutes twice a day. Do this two or three times in the first week. Then do it once or twice a week to keep the cytolytic vaginosis away. (Courtesy of PROBIOTICS: LOVE THAT BUG)

But mind you ladies, itching can also be normal if you are pregnant.

MILF vs PI Government

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The Story of Us

Date of formal introduction: May 19, 2000 (mahal told me he's seen me already a month before this date and that he instantly had a crush on me whoa!! hehehe kilig!!)

Bridge of Connection: One of his best buds Ryan Andrade (we'll be forever grateful that through him, we've met..hmm.. sorry for what we've caused him though. But we're still friends with him. and of course GOD, not too long before abner & I met,I prayed for the one i'll spend the rest of my life with..and after that as they say :the rest is history" ...
Length of Courtship: uhmm.... oopppsss heheAhe well okay about 9 days hahahaha we're not a fan of long courtship

Official Date: AUGUST 9, 2000

THE SIGNS
I know only few people believed on signs and i am one amongst them because of these things:
(just a brief history, our story won't fit the memory of friendster hehehe)
When I was 9 years old i told myself, when I grow up and have a BF, he's the one meant for me if:
1. He gives me shirt ;

2. He gives me a diamond ring; and

3. i'll feel the Magic on our first KISS

But then after some years, i've forgotten all about this...

I know it sounded too typical, simple and ordinary and any boyfriend could give it just for a vague reason. Specially that shirt is very commonly given as a gift to gfs or bfs. But hey, would you believe nobody among mg BFs then gave me this stuff? I received shoes, jewelries, flowers, chocolates and other stuffs but nobody gave me a shirt. Oh I received a ring from a Bf then, but it wasn't diamond either..and the kiss? hmm sorry.. but.. no magic...

Until.. I've met Abner Ponciano...Of the relationships i had, he's the only one who gave me a shirt. After 4 months of being together, when he got back from his trip to baguio, he had me this knitted shirt (I still keep it). When he handed it over, i remembered what i told my self when I was 9.. hmm, is he the one? hehehe

During the course of our relationship I always tell him never to give me a ring (forgetting my 9 yr. old child idea)cuz we might not end up together (i knew a lot of couple who exchanged rings and then hit up their separate ways with matching batuhan ng ring.. and i don't want that to happen to us). But on our 5th year, he stubbornly gave me a diamond ring asking me to marry him. Take note! sa yellow jeepney nya binigay!!at nakikita and naririnig ng mga pasahero!! hahaha metioning romantic!! (there's actually another story about this RIng thing--soon).. well,ding!dong!another sign there, the ring!!

Oh, I won't forget to mention the 3rd sign.. I felt the MAGIC, when he first KISSed me. It might sound silly to others, but hey i really felt it, and he said he did too. After our first kiss he and I was like.."ano yun? bakit ganun? " It was such a strange feeling i never felt before, that it seemed like everything stopped like literally and it felt like my heart stopped beating, na parang nabibingi ako na...basta it was so unexplainably magical.

We have gone through a lot of trials back in our pre-marital relationship, just like any other typical relationships we had some ups and downs but never in more than 6 years that we broke up. We didn't have massive fights at all, things were pretty much peaceful and everything were discussed over and ironed at the end of the day.

After 6 years and 4 months, we tied the knot on December 29, 2006. August 9 is still one important date for both of us and we still celebrate it aside from our wedding anniversary.We don't regret settling because we are actually living happily and i know it will be ever after.

07 August 2008 at 01:36 AM | Permalink | Comm

A Message for the Love of My Life

I want to grow old loving you...I always say i wanted a man who could make me laugh and i found you... You make me laugh even when I'm mad at you... I wanna laugh when I'm old with you.
I wanted a man who would love me for me and would believe in me and i found you... There have been times when you don't know what to do with me but you keep on loving me...
I want to be cherished when I'm old.. by you. I wanted a man who wouldn't grow tired of me nor I of him and i found you...We're still discovering things to learn about each other.. And while life may be difficult sometimes, its never boring... because I have you...
I want to be challenged when I'm old.. by you.. . You are my bestfriend, my trusted comrade, my creative critic and my favorite person...Even when I'm angry at you, I want to be with you.. I want to be friends when I'm old... with you. I enjoy your company more than anyone else's..
I pick out your voice from a hundred others in the room, my eyes find yours across crowds of people..I am at home with you and I want to be home when I'm old...
with you...
Through seasons of uncertainties... Your love and commitment are certain.. are sure.
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health... I am committed to you.. and i want to grow old loving you... TILL DEATH DO US PART